So, you’ve seen Risky Business, pretty much for sure. Well, I hadn’t. Which is weird on a number of levels–it’s generally considered a classic, it came out in the 80s, it has Tom Cruise in it–but is still true.

And I’m now not entirely glad I did. I almost wish that my familiarity with this movie still consisted entirely of Tom Cruise dancing around in his underwear, because the rest of it is so troubling. The 80s, guys. They were a special time, when we were crazy people. Crazy people in preppy outfits, sure, but also with insane ideas about everything, especially what high schoolers are or should be like, and also hookers.

So…points for young, cute Tom Cruise in some stellar Levis, minus points for bonkers sexual politics and general skin-crawly insanity.

Stray notes:

  • My Princeton interview also succeeded because my house was full of prostitutes (just kidding, it wasn’t at my house).
  • Having sex on the CTA seems like a really gross idea.

Director: Paul Brickman
Rating: R
Length: 99 min.
Score: 2/5.