Archives for posts with tag: mel gibson

Do you need a good cry? Try this movie.

MV5BZjM5ZDNlOGUtMjhlOS00NjNiLTg4M2MtNzVhMDY3MDlkYzg4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjc1NTYyMjg@._V1_UY268_CR0,0,182,268_AL_Western Australia, some time after the battle of Gallipoli has started but long before it has ended. A farmer’s son, Archy (Mark Lee), is learning from his uncle (Bill Kerr) how to be a great sprinter. He is blond and handsome and 18. We also immediately learn that, in addition to being fast and a good big brother, he is not racist. Also, of course, and against the wishes of his family and the Australian government, he wishes to join the light cavalry.

A drifter, Frank (Mel Gibson), loses his last twenty pounds betting on himself to beat Archy in a footrace. They are both extremely fast. Fate throws them together, and by various schemes and long desert treks, Archy fails to get Frank into the light cavalry as Frank cannot ride a horse. Archy, because he is desperately too nice, feels bad about this. But Frank is skint so he and his laughably Australian friends join the infantry.

Naturally, Frank and Archy both end up at Gallipoli, as many men from Western Australia did, and also naturally, as speedsters, they end up as runners when the telephones give out, which is always. They are there under the command of Major Barton (Bill Hunter, in the first sympathetic rôle in which I’ve ever seen him), whose wife has sent him off with a kiss and a bottle of champagne to drink on their anniversary.

I need hardly tell you that this does not go well. Watches are not synchronized. Artillery bombardments are inadequate. Major Barton does not wait until his anniversary to drink his bubbles. Communications go down. Self-sacrifice breaks out like a rash. Everybody dies.

Do you need an odd-couple story to make Gallipoli sad? No. Is this one pretty well done? Yes.

Director: Peter Weir
Rating: PG
Length: 110 minutes
Score: 4/5

Tcheky Karyo makes every movie about nine thousand percent better, and this is no exception. Between Karyo and Jason Isaacs chewing scenery, you are almost able to forget about Mel Gibson’s painful earnestness.

Look, you definitely think this movie is stupid and refried Braveheart. You are not wrong. But this movie is also tremendous, because somehow all the emotional beats hit, and also America is awesome.

Which is what it comes down to. The plot is silly, and the romances are unremarkable, and the Brits are ludicrously cartoonish, and Donal Logue recovering from his terminal racism is almost insulting, but…I cry every time Susan speaks to Benjamin, and I love America.

Stray observations:

  • Just…shoot him again, Gabriel. Don’t be dumb.
  • Can someone just make a supercut of all of Jean Villeneuve’s sick burns and mic drops? “I want accuracy and precision!” “If I die, I will die well dressed.”
  • Chris Cooper doesn’t lack for knives in the gut either.

Director: Roland Emmerich
Rating: PG-13
Length: 165 minutes
Score: 1,000,000/5